Do NOT attempt to take any of this seriously.

Est. 2026 - Oslo, Norway

The World's Premier
Nobel Prize Marketplace

Buy. Sell. Trade. Because apparently everything has a price now.

847
Prizes Listed
23B
NOK Total Volume
6
Categories

Hot Right Now

Featured Listings

🏅
Hot
Peace 2025

2025 Nobel Peace Prize - Lightly Used

Awarded for outstanding contributions to peace. Medal still shiny. Comes with original velvet box and certificate of authenticity. Minor existential crisis included at no extra charge.

2 500 000 kr Anonymous Peacekeeper
🏅
Literature 2019

2019 Nobel Prize in Literature

Beautiful gold medal awarded for literary excellence. Perfect for display in your home library or as a very expensive paperweight. Writer's block not included.

1 800 000 kr Prolific Wordsmith
🏅
Chemistry 2018

2018 Nobel Prize in Chemistry

Revolutionary work in directed evolution of enzymes. This medal has catalyzed many interesting dinner party conversations. Not actually made of enzymes.

2 100 000 kr Lab Enthusiast
🏅
Hot
Economic Sciences 2022

2022 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences

Awarded for research on banks and financial crises. Selling due to... well, you can probably guess. The irony is not lost on me.

1 500 000 kr Market Analyst
🏅
Hot
Peace 2026

2026 Nobel Peace Prize - PRE-ORDER (Allegedly)

The greatest Nobel Prize in history, frankly. Many people are saying it. I was robbed in 2018, 2019, 2020... actually every year. But this one I definitely won. The Swedish are very nice to me. Beautiful country. Not as beautiful as my buildings, but nice.

999 999 999 kr D. J. Trump
🏅
Hot
Peace 2024

2024 Nobel Peace Prize - Norwegian Hypocrisy Edition

Freshly awarded while Norway exports $8 billion in weapons annually. Includes: one gold medal, one certificate, and a masterclass in cognitive dissonance. Kongsberg Defence sends their regards.

8 000 000 000 kr Norwegian Nobel Committee
🏅
Hot
Peace 2012

2012 Nobel Committee Chairman's Personal Rolodex

Not a prize per se, but includes access to an extensive network of powerful contacts from his time leading the Nobel Committee. Buyer will receive: one leather-bound address book (some pages redacted), membership to several exclusive clubs, and a fascinating list of associates that recently became public. No questions asked about why certain names are highlighted.

4 200 000 kr T. Jagland
🏅
Hot
Peace 2025

2025 Norwegian PM Special - "We Investigated Ourselves" Edition

Commemorating years of expressing "deep concern" about conflicts while approving weapons exports. Includes: one framed photo of looking worried at press conferences, a collection of strongly-worded statements that changed nothing, and documentation of how Norway profits from war while lecturing others about peace. Aksjeskandal not included (sold separately).

3 700 000 kr Jonas Gahr Støre

Why Us

The NobelMarket Advantage

🔒

Secure Escrow

Your Nobel Prize is held safely until funds clear. We've never lost a laureate yet.

Verified Authenticity

Each medal verified by the Swedish Academy's former interns.

🌍

Global Shipping

Discrete packaging. Your neighbors won't know you bought prestige.

⚠️ DISCLAIMER ⚠️

WARNING: The stunts and opinions on this website are performed by professional jackasses.

NobelMarket and all associated parties are not responsible for any offense caused to: governments pretending to care about peace while selling weapons, billionaires who think they deserve recognition for being rich, politicians throwing tantrums about awards they didn't win, or Nobel Committee members suffering cognitive dissonance.

Any resemblance to actual war criminals, dictators, or Norwegian arms dealers is entirely intentional. The Norwegian government is kindly asked to stop pretending they're neutral while profiting from global conflict.

Do not attempt to take any government or institution at face value. Everyone is a jackass. Including us.

Norwegian Exports

  • Weapons: $8B/year
  • Oil & Gas: $100B/year
  • Moral Lectures: Priceless
  • Salmon: Also sold here

Legal

  • About (Satire)
  • Privacy Policy (lol)
  • Terms of Service
  • Please don't sue us 🙏

© 2026 NobelMarket. A satirical production.

No actual Nobel Prizes were harmed in the making of this website.

Funded by oil money, like everything else in Norway.

🤖 100% AI Generated | Prompted by a human, built by Claude